Draw the Line

We’ve been talking about communication, which is complex enough, with gender biases, and having compassion or not when you speak to others. “Letting people have it” we discovered IS NOT a good form of communication, mainly due to the fact that by the time a person gets there, they’re just ready to dump whatever has been “on their chest” and they have little patience to hear the other person’s point of view… until they’ve said what they NEED to. “Giving someone a piece of you mind” is an aggressive, in-your- face way of confronting an issue… there are better ways. And let me tell you why, someone whose been verbally abused will just shut down on you.

On the other end of the spectrum is the passive communicator - who may be timid, doesn’t want to “rock the boat” or is afraid of backlash (punishment or rejection.) The problem with passivity is that it usually leaves the communicator wishing that they said this or that (#shoulda, woulda, coulda.) Basically, they were intimidated and unable to get their point across. I used to be that way until I got tired of being trampled. Wanna know the real issue here? Passivity equals fear (people-pleasing) or is an indicator of “Broken Fence Syndrome” (problem with BOUNDARIES.) Here’s the thing about boundaries, they protect you if and only if you CREATE, SET and GUARD them. In other words, they can’t work if you set them but don’t enforce them. If whenever your boundaries are challenged you crumble… you’re gonna find yourself feeling abused and frustrated all over again.

Look at your life and determine where you need safeguards. Create boundaries (that you can keep) and “draw a line in the sand.” Make clear in your own mind “the WHY” and look for it… every Tom, Nancy and Harry to challenge them. those fence bulldozers that know as long as there are no set boundaries….. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS (#everything’s game.) And they pride themselves on applying the right amount of pressure, persuasion, manipulation, guilt, whatever it takes to “make you crumble.” To them its a game. What they’re after is “making things go back to the way they’re used to to.” And they try to make it feeeeel like, you’re the one with “the problem.” But I’m here to tell you… IT’S TIME. It’s time to make your SELF, your desires, God-given destiny and goals PRIMARY! And the first step in right direction is being able to stand firmly on ONE POINT. Start with just one….ONE VALID, VITAL POINT: And become intimately knowledgible about IT. Know the meaning of it and how to communicate everything about it. Know what it is and what it IS NOT. Here POINT #1:

I AM WHO i am (by the Grace of God)

And THEN add to that:

POINT #2: I am worthy of the best in Life.

These two points, are cornerstones in a firm foundation which anyone could build a successful life upon. So you have TWO VITAL Life Points, set a few boundaires protect them… Draw your line in the sand… Set out your “Don’t Stand on the Grass” ssigns… and then be ready to look ANY OFFENDER/trespasser IN THE EYE (without blinking) to say, “Uh uh uh… DOHNT-EEEEEEVEN-TRRYYYYY-IT!“

Serious question though: How does one know what boundaries, rules and barriers to create to SELF-protect, if they are not sure of their own NEEDS/WANTS? That is a good question, ain’t it?! Scooch up close and let me whisper this in your ear… “The way to hold your line is to first know that you have the authority to do so.” Each of us has at least one person in our lives that we would go through the fire and storms for (or with)… you’ve got to be that way with your SELF. And to get there you’ve got to LOVE and RESPECT you. If you are not there… the ONLY WAY to get there is to spend time with yourSELF and either get to know or REDISCOVER who you are. BEcasue the bottom line is and I am sure you’ve heard it a million times… and that is IF YOU DON’T LOVE/RESPECT YOURSELF. The problem many face is that they don’t really know WHAT LOVE IS, or what it feels like. And that, my friend is a reeeeeal issue (#brokenness.)

Drawing a line, making your stance OR setting boundaries ARE ALL MUTE POINTS, if what you are attempting to protect has no value in your eyes…you have value! IF you’re having trouble believing it, lets talk.

What I want

I cringe when I hear people say “Girl, I just had to give him a piece of your mind!” Although confronting another person in this way is sometimes necessary… It should not be “the default” way to communicate one’s feelings, hopes, desires and or injury. Simply because, by the time you get here… you’ve been holding everything in and releasing (getting it off your chest, becomes the only priority. This type of communication is usually aggressive and doesn’t allow the other person “to get a word in edgewise.” And btw, effective communication IS AN EXCHANGE (#give and receive.)

Before I get to the VITAL point of knowing yourself (intimately) and being able to effectively communicate where you are (emotionally, spiritually, future goals, etc.) let’s just go here… When you finally zero in to the zone you need to be in for success and you make those goals and set boundaries, there’s always going to be someone to challenge you.  And so that’s where CONFRONTATION rears it’s (sometimes ugly) head. Handling confrontation successfully is a matter of showing up, using the right language, and maintaining composure (no matter how uncomfortable it may get.) But it doesn’t have to be is a knock-down-drag-out fight, which people often expect when there a need for confrontation. Aaaaand that why they people AVOID them, but in doing so, things only get worse. Listen, confrontation often gets a bad rap, Dictionary.com defines it this way:  

“1) Meeting of persons face to face, bringing together of ideas, themes, 2) For comparison, or 3) An open conflict of opposing ideas, forces, etc., 4) IN PSYCHOLOGY SETTINGS: Confrontation is a technique used in group therapy, as in encounter groups, in which one is forced to recognize one’s shortcomings and their possible consequences.”

I feel like if people understood the power of this kind of EXCHANGE they wouldn’t avoid it so. Avoiding only makes things worse. Confrontation is an opportunity to clarify things, establish your point and get closure. If you present your message intelligently, clearly, with strength, in a way that your listener understands - while maintaining composure… AND THEN YOU LISTEN, and give the other person space to present their ideas, there should be no reason to repeat this hard conversation! But what I often see is the result of one person holding it in, until they can’t take it anymore and then BOOM!.

My mother was good for that! When something was done that she didn’t like, instead of shutting it down immediately and going on with her life, she’d just bite her lip and tolerate it, but it was bothering her… I guess she didn’t want to make a ruckus so she let it go on and on.  While she never said a word, each time the act occurred she felt irritated and frustrated and she let it build up and up and up (#bottled up). And once her bottle was full, she’d start acting out - slamming things, sighing loudly and being grumpy (probably hoping someone would ask her what was wrong.) But when she started drinking, we all know she was at the end of her rope… and because there was no more room in the bottle… SHE WOULD EXPLODE and go clean off!!!! Sometimes she wouldn’t even make it to the drinking part… but when things got on her “last nerve”… BOOM! Yeah, that’s passive aggressive… and that’s how people act when their VOICE has been taken away. Who told her expression was equal to complaining? My question to her and everyone who uses “volcano mouth” as a form of regular expression: “WHY WAIT UNTIL YOUR LAST NERVE IS EXPOSED to confront trespassers?!” Did you know our physical bodies were not made to hold onto fear, frustration, hate, anger, jealousy, irritation - THAT IS WHERE ILLNESS COMES FROM. So, you can see just how vital it is to identify and release negativity through effective communication.

TIPS FOR IMPROVING COMMUNICATION

1)     Know THYSELF and get whole (fix whatever is broken or missing - spiritually/emotionally)

2)     Distinguish the difference between your NEEDS and WANTS  

3)     Set your Boundaries and clarify “YOUR WHY” (purpose of your boundaries)

Everyone should not be privy to that information. Be wary of people who press to “understand” why you’ve changed what they’re used to. In most cases it’s an attempt to MANIPULATE and get you to re-negotiate your boundary line. Let your No be NO and don’t crumble! Distraction can knock you off the path or delay you forward movement towards success. .

4)     IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS

First things first, GET YOUR EMOTIONS UNDER CONTROL BEFORE OPENING YOUR MOUTH! Being “in your feelings” can cause you to say and do things you’ll regret. Pick your battles; don’t give energy to people and situations that don’t deserve it. Learn to use the words that effectively describe who you are, where you are (emotionally/spiritually), your future goals, and your boundaries. Be honest, clear, concise and confident. Don’t let things pile up on you, handle them as they come. Learn that different people understand things in different ways and use THEIR language when communicating with them. Watch your body language, your volume and sarcasm. If you’re not careful you could “lose folks” before they can really hear what you’re trying to say. AS you know, sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it

5. INCREASE YOUR RESPONSE REPERTOIRE

No more exploding, throwing tantrums and/or yelling as your DEFAULT ways to respond in challenging times (you may need to grow up, learn to listen, take a class or get counseling.) Whatever it takes remember  THE EXCHANGE of information is the point of confrontation. It takes a lot more strength to maintain SELF control than it does to EXPLODE and tear the place down. In the movie American Gangster (Universal Pictures, 2007) Denzel Washington’s character said: “The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room.” Enough said…

My final point, remember WORDS ARE POWERFUL. They can bring life, or kill; open or shut doors, manifest good or bad. So increase your vocabulary to promote understanding and remember that sometimes less words are better. Take in consideration that everyone does not communicates in the same that you, so tailor your message accordingly. And lastly watch your SELF talk. Be mindful of the things you say to yourSELF.  

For more on Right Communication, get your copy of 4SELF 101 here.

BEING

The clock is striking 12, and Cinderella’s dream is fading into a mist. And think we all have a little bit of “Ella” in each of us. There’s that fantasy vision of who we want to be and then there’s that person we see when we look into the mirror. How many of us can literally say, I am totally happy with who I am? I often say as a response to people’s “How are you?”… “I am soooo good, if I were any better there would be two of me.”

I’ve been at this SELF Development thing for many years and ya know what? I have still not “arrived” - let that be a lesson to everyone who thinks by buying a “DO BETTER” course and following a formula will get you to where you want to be. ITS A JOURNEY, one that takes a lifetime but which starts with a made up mind and one step, and another and another. (That’s mine, quote me if you like.) But only elements of what I’ve done right (and wrong) can be tiny pieces of what it takes to get you where you need to be and visa versa. Its crazy when you look at it… remember your parent (or teacher) saying “DO AS I SAY?” It took a certain level of faith and certainly trust to follow those directions and believe that everything would turn out right. And some of us “overly inquisitive” rebellious or hardheaded folks fought directions from authority figures because… we didn’t want to be told what to do. Whatever that meant for the individually, I can certainly say… there is most certainly a seat in the School of Hard Knocks with their name on it. As my elders used to say:

“A hard head makes a soft behind.” Which means if you are being called (by God, the Universe… or your destiny or whatever) to go down a certain path “for your making” you can either go willing or you can get beat every step down the path (if you choose) but one way or another …. YOU’RE GOING. The point is: We all have freedom of choice and guess what … The responsibility (and privilege) is that you get to choose. Just know, sometimes NOT CHOOSING is a choice. If that is your stance, what you get has nothing to do with LUCK but it will certainly out of your hands to control. So I’m saying it’s much better to CHOOSE one thing or the other if for no other reason you can track and tweak the result (and find what works best for you.)

Anyway… self development is an INTENTIONAL endeavor. For what I offer (4SELF) you get out what you put in #tailor-made experience. But the first decision you must make is that you are worth it.

I guess for the majority of my life, I have been so much better at DOING than being. The weirdest thing as I’ve been relentless in accomplishing the many visions I have had over the years to improve the community, families and/or individuals… I found out from try to discover SELF that my IDENTITY was based on what I did (and the accolades I received from “knocking it out of the park”) rather than who I am as a person. The problem there is, once your assignment is completed… you still don’t know who you are. In fact you feel less “important” or worthy because there is no more applause or recognition. I want you to ask yourself: “Who am I outside and apart from what I do?” And if you are like I was when asked, unable to give an intelligent answer… in fact I just stood there and cried… you’ve got some intentional SELF work to do. You may not be there per se… if you don’t know what your purpose is, or you have teens struggling with IDENTITY, they all do, or you’re coming out of a long term or toxic relationship… hitting a mid-life crises or even bout to graduate from high school - YOU’VE GOT TO … Know Thy SELF to get to the next stage.

Let me say it again, EVERYBODY NEEDS SELF DEVELOPMENT.

And a great place to start is getting 4SELF 101 and if you need a little Gre8tLife Coaching, CLICK here.

Four Seasons

Well it’s officially Christmas Season, the time of Peace and Joy. And you know I’m big on Joy. Speaking of SEASONS, I’ve lived in California most of my adult life and there’s mainly just one, hot. I’ve become a weather wimp, I can do 118 like champ, but I’m crying and complaining when it drops below 40 here in GA. But what I love about Georgia is you get to experience all four of the seasons. Autumn is a reprieve, the explosive yellows, oranges and red colored leaves are sort of a reward for surviving the sticky (yucky) humidity filled summer.

I can say, no matter where I am in the world, spring is my favorite. Just a couple of posts ago I talked about the difference between dancing, or getting caught in the rain, which we know washes away the old dried stuff, waters seeds, brings new life and the beautiful flowers we all enjoy. And life is beautiful, at least it was meant to be that way. Even bears come out of hibernation… because the sun seems to be just right.

One thing we know, it takes for seasons (winter, spring, summer and fall) to make a complete a cycle. Life is like that, it has four seasons. Life starts in Spring (the birds and the bees)! Like spring chicks we receive nourishment, education and stimulation to growing. Summer comes, its hot and the frenzy of movement compels us to leave the nest and fly. Its time to build our own lives, get that career, home, start and raise a family and plant seeds for the future. You know… do life. With Autumn comes the second half of the life cycle. We’re cruising now, the kids are about to be grown, retirement is on the radar and what was hot is now cooling off. Old fruit begins to dry and whither away. And finally winter comes. We all know it would. As long as there’s seed time and harvest, the seasons come and go. Time keeps on-a-ticking. For each of us just like in nature the sun rises at birth and surely one day it will set. As they say, two things are for sure: DEATH AND TAXES.

Writer and philosopher Zaid K Dahhaj in his article “Why Understanding the Seasons of Life Will Ease Your Suffering” (2018) says, and I paraphrase:

“In Spring and Summer we celebrate youth, vitality and aliveness. But an endless summer is unnatural. Who you become, the people you nurture and the work you do in the summertime of your life all contribute to the making of your harvest, or your legacy. In the fall of your life, you reap what you sow.”

But you cannot have the next season until you let go of the previous one. Holding onto something that is dying or the past will only stunt your growth and delay your future. Seasons are meant to have a start and finish… so that life can progress organically. This is seen more than we’d like to admit with jobs and relationships. Yeah it’s been fun, but in your “knower” its apparent there’s no future there. And you know one day it’s gonna be time to move on. Year 1 and 2 is great, no kinks, no issues or nothing but half way through year 3, things begin to change. It could be a number of things and “you’re done” or all of a sudden you wake up feeling differently… Yep that should be the beginning of the end, except you keep telling yourself “No responsibility is fun, tho.” But the whisper “Its time to go” continues to nag until the signs, flags, and issues start popping up everywhere (that’s the universe giving you a hint.) To be honest with yourself, you knew this day would come. Have courage to do what you must. Because one thing is for sure, you cannot progress to your next season by holding onto a dying one or to the past. The longer you hold onto a thing, the worse the situation becomes… Its better to release by choice than it is to be forced to let go. Control what you can … and don’t fret the rest. If it didn’t work out, it probably was for you. Or, it was only to be in your life for A CERTAIN SEASON… A season is not meant to last a lifetime.

A HappyLife is made from experiencing, getting the most out of each season. The goal is end your cycle with no regrets (get your closure before moving to the next level). KNOW THYSELF, so you can trust your own intuition. (When you don’t know, pray.) And if you need a little help, as always…

I got you! CLICK HERE

Thankful Hands

Okay, I want to share something very, very intense, and personal with you. I was unwanted… at first. Did you know that unborn babies experience their mother’s feelings while they are in their womb? And those feelings can stay with them through their lifetimes? I never knew the full story until I was an adult. My parents married young, probably right after graduation. Dad went into the military and Mom was the “stay at home wifey.” I don’t know when the drama started or who started cheating first but by the time, I was three, Mom was “fleeing for her life,” my sisters were living with my Aunt and the ink was drying on the divorce papers.

The short version is: Cross daughter #3, Wanda, was a sick baby. Despite the wheezing, coughing, and etc., my Mom neglected to get her to the doctor, I don’t know why she waited so long. But on the way up the elevator to the doctor’s office Wanda stopped breathing. When the doors finally opened the nurses snatched Baby from Lenora’s arms to revive her, but to no avail. And where was Dad? IDK. Thank God his brother Ken, who I call “Uncle Daddy” was there for moral support. That must’ve been the last straw. This was the day she must’ve decided to never have any other kids with “that man.” But little did she know that there was already a bun in the oven… me.

I wouldn’t say that I am afraid of heights, but whenever I stood at the top of the stairs, I would always see myself tumbling down them. That was so weird and it bothered me to the point that I did what I do when I am between a rock and a hard place with no where to to… and that is (you guessed it) pray. But really it’s deeper that that. I rondevous with my Divine Father, the source of like EVERYTHING, especially wisdom. Not that I have to qualify that, but I’ve lived without my earthly father all my life and someone led me to a passage in The Book that says, “… God will be a father to the fatherless.” And I gave it a try, and let me tell you, He is literally the BESTEST FATHER ever. So I go to Daddy (God), I talk, I cry, ccomplain and even sometimes cuss… but then a sense of warmth and comfort blankets me like a warm shower and then … I listen. Once I learned what His voice sounded like there has never been a void of meaningful conversation between, He and I.

And He said to me: “When your mother threw herself down the stairs to abort you, I held you together.” HIS HANDS HELD ME TOGETHER. Wow, even now it takes my breath away. Imma let that set right there for a second…. It’s kinda interesting that He’s also given me the gift of healing. Now don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t work without Him. Its His healing virtue that flows through my hands when He ordains it. Understand this, EVERYONE HAS GIFTS, so I am not saying in any way that I am more special than anyone else. But I am saying, He held me and I have the awesome privilege (for which I am very grateful) to hold others. Hugging my children and grands (and adopted kids) give me life. When people are “going through” stuff they sometimes don’t need words - and divine wisdom helps you decern whether a person needs a hug or just to be emotionally held. When people are uncomfortable with physical contact, I just give them my undivided attention. Listening with care can do wonders.

Hugs can heal. Hands can help do work. Holding someone’s hand can strengthen them, Holding attention fosters respect and also affirms. And because hands can harm, one must be especially responsible when they offer “a hand” or experience consequences (and reprocussions) for not. So, I “High-five” (or fist bump) you  for trackin’ wit me. I appreciate you; I hold you up spiritually and if you need an emotional hand… I got your back! Need help, CLICK HERE.

Oh, I forgot, to end the story. Near the end of her life my mother told me that she used to purposely fall down the basement stairs while pregnant with me. (I already knew.) The strong hands of God held me together in my Mom’s womb (Thank you Father) … and when I was born on Thanksgiving Day, she looked me in the face and called me Angel.  

Thanks for the Rain!

I remember dancing in the rain as a kid. The hot and humid St. Louis summers sometimes caused the black tar covered streets to melt beneath our bare feet as we did “the tolerance test.” Running and playing all day long, hot, and sticky but when it rained… omg, if the drops didn’t evaporate before washing over every upturned little face, it felt like heaven.

Now as an adult getting caught in the rain is a nightmare, especially in the winter. Cold AND wet, I can’t think of anything worse. The Book says “It rains on the just and unjust” meaning, everybody is gonna get rained on, it’s how you see it that makes all the difference in the world. “Rain, rain go away, come back another day or…  

In Seattle, it rains (so they say) 300 out of 365 days in a year. Almost all things are washed away EXCEPT depression. When you’re feeling low, getting rained on seems to make things worse. But there in WA life just goes on. Washingtonians do everything in the rain, ride motorcycles, camp, hike… where most people would turn back, they just shrug and keep it moving.

BUT! When you’ve been in a drought tho… “a dry spell” or if you’re feeling a little thirsty and “can’t get no satisfaction…” Yes, that can absolutely be dating, but it can also be about unemployment, or social activities… like where are your friends when you need ‘em. It’s being stuck in an “in-between-space. You’ve finally exited one place, but you’re not quite where you want to be yet… why does that place always seem to be like a dust-covered, tumbleweed town, plagued by dry winds, ashy skin, cracked lips and dry mouth. And all you can think of is …. WHEN’S IT GONNA BE MY TURN. Growing up I heard that a lot from my mother, especially when she drank. She’d also mumble between swallows, “I give and I give, when is someone going to give back to me?!.”

When you’ve got it going on you’re like a full picture of refreshing water and it’s easy to give. But then that generous spirit (or the need to get) compels you to give down to your last. And when you have nothing left, your friends start becoming scarce too. Sucks… but you are the one who must be aware of the condition of your own picture… if you don’t refill when your inner resources get dangerously low you’ll could end up “boiling dry.” (imagine boiling eggs and the water evaporates.) Thats the place where you’ve got nothing left to give… #SELFCARE means TAKING “you time” (to refill.)

So back to the in-between place, the desert… as long as you’re connected to the Source and you don’t give up, you will make it to the other side. Scooch up close and listen to this … Most often we just want to “arrive” but what we really need is development, that which can only be derived from THE PROCESS. In other words, the destination is less important than the JOURNEY. And if you stop half way thru… sorry it’s around the mulberry bush you go… and go and go until you finish the course. Stop worrying so much about leaving the place and start trying to devour each and every moment. Perhaps there’s a lesson to learn, forgiveness to give (or receive) maybe you just need toughening up, or NINJA skills, whatever it is, believe me, it will be VITAL for your next level.

So, now when it rains I don’t get CAUGHT, I prepare myself. And instead of gnashing my teeth, I may let Lil Anji (my inner child) out to splash in a puddle or two. Or you may catch me, with my nose in the air and mouth wide open catching rain drops with my tongue. Or spinning with my hands in the air dancing a jig. Or I may, like I did last night, wrap myself in a blanket, sit on the patio watching and  listening to the rain. I finally get it!The rain is what keeps the Emerald Isle (Seattle) green, and waters every thirsty thing which produces growth in it’s own time.

But most of all RAIN means abundance (#make it rain). There’s been a lot of SH^% in my life, but ya know what? through it all, I’ve planted many, many seeds. And the law of seed time and harvest always does what it’s supposed to do… cleanses and water whatever has been planted and toiled over. AND IF YOU DON’T FAINT (or drop out of the journey) your harvest (and mine) is coming. The key is to stay connected to the SOURCE and to keep moving. I declare that my seeds are bringing wealth… what are your seeds bringing you? Rain is a supernatural wonder! It cleanses hearts and minds, and revives the soul; calms the spirit, produces every beautiful thing to enjoy and you know… Living Water satisfies like nothing else in the world can. The rain reminds me that we are still alive and growing! And God I am so thankful!

Thankfulness

No matter how many problems you have… it could always be worse.  Its coming up to the holidays, and my boss loves to make baked goods. I know I must resist but I fear I may not be able to but then I think of the ever-increasing roll around my midsection, %$#^! And then walking down the street I see someone wearing spandex, looking like a stuffed sausage and I realize: 1) why has no one told her how inappropriate that is and 2) Ehhhhh maybe I’m not that bad.

Oh don’t look at me like that… we’re all a little ncy to be judgmental from time to time. And just ignorant in regards to what that other person may going through … just maybe it’s not horrible taste or poor choices. (Where’s the fashion police when you need them.) She’s probably saying in her head, “If you don’t like what you see, don’t look at it.” But some sights can’t be unseen, even if you do scream DELETE, DELETE, DELETE! Right… moving on.  The next thing that crosses my mind is…. Aaaaand that’s why you (SELF directed) need to just say no to the holiday cookies.

Here’s the truth, no matter what finger I point at others, metaphorically or not, I must remember that there are 3 pointing back at myself. Today at … oldish, I realize I’m quite where I want to be in life (yet) BUT… THANK GOD I’M NOT the person I USED TO BE either! I have grown yes, physically, but also more importantly spiritually, intellectually & emotionally. And you know what counseling has had a big effect. Sure there may be a certain stigma attached to therapy but when you’re mouth is jacked people don’t think twice about going to the dentist. To be honest I think it’s the asking for help part. Or as some people put it, “I’m grown, I don’t need someone else telling me how to think” YA KNOW THAT’S PRIDE, right? Uh the bad kind… And you know what they say about that kind of pride… it shows up right before a BIG FALL. I’ve said this before but I think it bears repeating: TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL WOUNDS! Leaving it alone only allows it to scab over, while the infection continues to grow. Just bump it and you will see what I mean, HELLO! puss and blood.

Counseling/therapy is the right environment for a skillful practitioner to help one get healed and whole, some things you just can’t resolve by your ONESY. Scooch up close and hear this, it’s a Monumental secret, The secret to living UNBOTHERED, of coming back to center, of supernatural favor, of REIGNING over your own life… WORSHIP. And NOOO this is NOT ABOUT GOING TO CHURCH. Worship means: To go out of your way to recognize. Religious OR NOT everyone worships one thing or another. Ever heard the saying “I worship the ground she walks on” or “I can’t get him off of my mind” or “This job has me so stressed out, its all I ever think of, guess I will work another Sunday”… anything you continuously worry about or allow to fill your thoughts, OR takes most of your focus… THAT’S WORSHIP. Humans were built for worship (thankfulness and praise) and the pipeline is relationships Did you know that worship can literally change how you feel… really, it’s the endorphins! Ya know like with exercise? Try it, and see? Take like 5 minutes and write down everything that you are thankful for… and say each one by one OUTLOUD.  But don’t just rattle OFF your items off, take your time and THINK ABOUT what each means. Don’t let anything else steal your focus… stay right there. Let yourSELF get into it and when you’re done, I promise you, you’ll feel differently.  The secret of living a balanced satisfied life - Learn to worship. The question of your lifetime is: “Who or what are you worshipping” and are the rewards you receive as a result temporal or eternal? (Yep, one is much better than the other.)

Simple Worship: BEING “thinkful” and THANKFUL.

While I walk, the sun warms my face … and I say: “Thanks God for this new day, not everyone got one. And it’s a beautiful one.  The sun is shining, there’s a breeze, and the leaves are vibrant and beautiful and I get to experience it all. Thank you for this job and paycheck that allows me to pay my bills. I have everything I need!  Life is good, I am truly blessed and I am really grateful.”