New Season

I can’t believe February is almost over! Next week I’ll be paying rent again. Its funny how arrival of the first is tied to “bills due.” I have a life-long friend who struggled for years with finances. I mean it was baaaaad. I hurt with her through the struggles of not being able to pay rent, having to move several times and hiding the car so it wouldn’t be repossessed. It’s not so much that they (her and her husband) didn’t have the finances to pay rent, and their car note… sometimes they didn’t (#robbing Peter to pay Paul.) And let me say, this is remarkably familiar to my own experience. In fact, almost everyone I know, certainly my siblings and children, have all had at least one car repossessed (well except Bri.)

But my point is, and I told my Naddie, (#bestfriend) you give money too much power. Now we both know that she is capable of managing her budget… but her husband, who I love dearly, had a “Smeagol” (Lord of the Ring) type control over their money…. “My preccccccious.” I mean it was (and still may be) horrifying. But I think he’s gotten better as his faith in God and in his wife has increased. Not that the money was mismanaged… but he had a fetish for DVDs and not sharing the financial information. Oh, and she tried and tried to get him to unclamp but always ended up frustrated and in tears. I get it, I want control of my own money and I don’t want anyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t do with it. BUT,  I am single. Becoming one, is the point of marriage. So, what’s yours and what’s mine should be ONE or at least transparency and cooperation should guide negotiations. Did you know FINANCES is one of the top three reasons marriages fail.

I believe the spirit of SMEAGAL is present when you’ve been traumatized by lack and have the fear of being without. It causes a sort of compulsion to control and do whatever “you gotta do” to hang onto what you have. It makes you feel like if you’re too loosey goosey with your money, or if you don’t maintain control all will be lost, and you’ll end up in that world of hurt again. (That’s called an inner vow.)  You promise yourself not to repeat the sins of the father.

Scooch up close and listen to me, EVEN IF YOU’VE LIVED IN GENERATIONAL POVERTY, money is not the end all, be all solution for happiness! I know, I know… been there done that, but like anything else the power is yours to change your circumstances. If you’re sick and tired of “being broke,” stop doing what you’ve always done… change it up. Learn about money and fix your attitude about it. And for goodness sakes (!) stop spending your income tax check on STUFF and learn to save your money. Start small. First learn to TELL YOURSELF NO and make a budget. Set reachable (S.M.A.R.T.) goals and stick to ‘em. Once you accomplish money goals, it will get easier AND you will feel good about self. If money “burns a hole in your pocket” don’t carry cash (and leave the debit card at home.)  Money is a unit of exchange, it comes, and money goes. Think of it as an energy. If all you do is WORRY about “being broke,” that is what you attract to yourself… brokenness. But if you are thankful for what you have, which is a gift from above, and realize the ability to meet your budget (and pay what you can) is blessing… it will come more readily. Why… shifting your praise to The Source, and off the OLE MIGHTY DOLLAR opens doors for more... more provision, more gifts, more opportunities. Its ok to love money, just don’t serve it (like a god)… it should serve you. And if you don’t know how that could work… read a book, access YouTube, a blog or Podcast.

So, what does a new season have to do with money. The Christmas/New Years season is just over… winter is on its way out. In fact, it’s raining now, even as we connect. You know what rain does, it washes away the muck and dross. It satisfies the thirsty ground and waters planted seeds. It brings new life. And do I need to say, it’s a gift from above, especially where there’s been famine and drought. The season is changing… be ready for it. Leave the past and be ready to move forward. Remember doing the same old things and expecting something new to happen is the definition of insanity. You want things to change… you change.

Suggested financial literacy resources:

Websites

MoneyMavericks.com, MyMoney.gov, khanacademy.org, www.daveramsey.com

Podcasts

Stacking Benjamins, The Dave Ramsey Show, His and Her Money, The Fairer Cents, The Truth About Money with Ric Edelman

Favorite Books: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Pounder, and Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kyosaki

Also see my book 4SELF 101  (Chapter 9: Money, Money, Money)

Four Seasons

Well it’s officially Christmas Season, the time of Peace and Joy. And you know I’m big on Joy. Speaking of SEASONS, I’ve lived in California most of my adult life and there’s mainly just one, hot. I’ve become a weather wimp, I can do 118 like champ, but I’m crying and complaining when it drops below 40 here in GA. But what I love about Georgia is you get to experience all four of the seasons. Autumn is a reprieve, the explosive yellows, oranges and red colored leaves are sort of a reward for surviving the sticky (yucky) humidity filled summer.

I can say, no matter where I am in the world, spring is my favorite. Just a couple of posts ago I talked about the difference between dancing, or getting caught in the rain, which we know washes away the old dried stuff, waters seeds, brings new life and the beautiful flowers we all enjoy. And life is beautiful, at least it was meant to be that way. Even bears come out of hibernation… because the sun seems to be just right.

One thing we know, it takes for seasons (winter, spring, summer and fall) to make a complete a cycle. Life is like that, it has four seasons. Life starts in Spring (the birds and the bees)! Like spring chicks we receive nourishment, education and stimulation to growing. Summer comes, its hot and the frenzy of movement compels us to leave the nest and fly. Its time to build our own lives, get that career, home, start and raise a family and plant seeds for the future. You know… do life. With Autumn comes the second half of the life cycle. We’re cruising now, the kids are about to be grown, retirement is on the radar and what was hot is now cooling off. Old fruit begins to dry and whither away. And finally winter comes. We all know it would. As long as there’s seed time and harvest, the seasons come and go. Time keeps on-a-ticking. For each of us just like in nature the sun rises at birth and surely one day it will set. As they say, two things are for sure: DEATH AND TAXES.

Writer and philosopher Zaid K Dahhaj in his article “Why Understanding the Seasons of Life Will Ease Your Suffering” (2018) says, and I paraphrase:

“In Spring and Summer we celebrate youth, vitality and aliveness. But an endless summer is unnatural. Who you become, the people you nurture and the work you do in the summertime of your life all contribute to the making of your harvest, or your legacy. In the fall of your life, you reap what you sow.”

But you cannot have the next season until you let go of the previous one. Holding onto something that is dying or the past will only stunt your growth and delay your future. Seasons are meant to have a start and finish… so that life can progress organically. This is seen more than we’d like to admit with jobs and relationships. Yeah it’s been fun, but in your “knower” its apparent there’s no future there. And you know one day it’s gonna be time to move on. Year 1 and 2 is great, no kinks, no issues or nothing but half way through year 3, things begin to change. It could be a number of things and “you’re done” or all of a sudden you wake up feeling differently… Yep that should be the beginning of the end, except you keep telling yourself “No responsibility is fun, tho.” But the whisper “Its time to go” continues to nag until the signs, flags, and issues start popping up everywhere (that’s the universe giving you a hint.) To be honest with yourself, you knew this day would come. Have courage to do what you must. Because one thing is for sure, you cannot progress to your next season by holding onto a dying one or to the past. The longer you hold onto a thing, the worse the situation becomes… Its better to release by choice than it is to be forced to let go. Control what you can … and don’t fret the rest. If it didn’t work out, it probably was for you. Or, it was only to be in your life for A CERTAIN SEASON… A season is not meant to last a lifetime.

A HappyLife is made from experiencing, getting the most out of each season. The goal is end your cycle with no regrets (get your closure before moving to the next level). KNOW THYSELF, so you can trust your own intuition. (When you don’t know, pray.) And if you need a little help, as always…

I got you! CLICK HERE