Girl POWER

If the Girl Scouts motto is “Girls can do anything” it must be true! It is my personal belief that God created man as a reflection of Himself, but then so that Man would not be alone, He created still in His own image … an upgrade, known as WOMB-man aka woman, EVE. To Adam God gave A JOB, and the power of stamina, reasoning, and problem-solving, to complete it, aka MASCULINE ENERGY. And then gave him the physical capacity and authority to get ‘er done! (That’s so sexy). But to Eve (which by the way means, to breathe, to live, and to give life) he gave FEMININE ENERGY.

Neither Masculine nor Feminine Energy, are assigned to a particular gender, they are both sides of who God is. Masculine energy is protective, incredibly focused, linear thinking, creates solutions and is very pragmatic, and logical. Masculine energy is good at setting up structures, creating lines, and coloring within them. Whereas Feminine energy is creative, expressive, nurturing, good at cleaning out/purging, and is amazing with multitasking. But she has another special power and that is her WOMB. “MOVIE FLASH” ever seen “Harlem Nights” (Paramount Pictures, 1989) with Eddie Murphy, Redd Fox, Richard Pryor, Arcenio Hall, and Della Reese? There was a prostitute whose yoni was said to be better than “Sunshine” (paraphrase). You’ll have to watch it to know what that’s all about… Uhhh I don’t have to explain what a “yoni” is, right? … (bugged eyes, pursed lips, head tilt) A woman’s yoni is said to be the gateway of life, but also a portal to heavenly dimensions. Originally created to be a sacred, mystical place of healing, the garden of one’s life mate. Lately, though she’s more seems treated more like a ballpark than the sanctuary she was designed to be. Way too many bats in the cage, bases been run so many times ya can’t find home plate anymore. But… I digress. She’s more subject to “wham-bam thank you ma’am” situations thing than true intimacy. She’s the bountiful and divine banquet that has been reduced down to a “snack basket.”  

Women CEO’s pretty much have to “grow a pair” to “Boss-up” and gain the respect of men in order to lead them. I have mad respect for CEOs like Roz Brewer, Thasunda Brown Duckett, Michell Gass (Fortune.com) or Sami Wunder (also a blogger) who have obviously changed the world by balancing both masculine and feminine energy – and creating a more equitable workspace for all. Now that’s GIRL POWER IN ACTION (the feminine edge.)

From GIRL to WOMAN   

I told my son, “Having a penis no more makes you a man than living in a garage makes you a car.” That means stop playing around and get your life together. Either you are or you’re not. If you’re going to be a man (woman/grown-up) be a good one. Women, walk the walk of a ROYALTY be a Queen, get your “STRUT” on. Anybody can look the part, but who are you really? Nationally-published best-selling author, speaker, Master Life Coach (and my good friend) Debrena Jackson Gandy says be a “Juicy Woman,” which she defines this way:

“A Juicy Woman is committed to having a full spirit, clear mind, open heart, well body, and wisely manages her energy as part of her daily reality. The Sacred Self-Caring Consciousness is a NEW paradigm based in higher-dimension beliefs about her Self, God, her body as a divine living temple, feminine power, and abundance that create an experience of deeper joy, peace, ease, self-expression, freedom and FLOW-ductivity in her mind, body, spirit, relationships and life.”

So how does one move from being what I call “IN HER GIRL” to becoming a “Woman.” The Book says, “When I was a child, I acted like a child but when I became grown (a woman) I put away childish things.” Coming out of “your girl” means you no longer use the old tools immature women do to get what you need. You throw away manipulation, tantrums, or ghosting people when you don’t get what you want. Stop running into situations blindly using emotions or feelings as your guide. And STOP using “womanese” (language only women understand) to communicate with men. We are so hard on “babymen”, but we tend not to do self-assessments… If you are grown, it’s time to move out of “your girl” into Womanhood and take the world by storm! I realize if you’ve come from a long line of “Independent” women, (The I don’t need a man group) where you MUST BE both bread-winner and nurturer to survive, you may have to deal with some issues and LEARN to soften and come away from the instinctive “Boss-up” energy so that you can have successful dating relationships. Just know time doesn’t always heal ALL WOUNDS, there is no shame in getting help. Get closure so that you can move forward for real.

For “Juicy Woman” Coaching, let me introduce you to my friend Debrena Jackson Gandy.  For more information on Communication (and womanese) get a copy of 4SELF101 here (its not just for Teens.)

The Booty Call

Its 12:30am Friday night/saturday morning and the phone rings. The sexy voice on the line starts with, “Hey Baby whatcha doing…” Its the BOOTY CALL!!! Now, for females accepting bootys is seen by the world as a negative thing, where as for men making and benefiting from a call is a beautiful thing. It’s the old double standard. Society has crammed women into a narrow box. We are expected to be monogamous, being chaise, loyal to a fault… you know, to be a good woman. And we are supposed to be good lovers… uh but not too good… She is meant to be a PARTNER to build with, ½ the foundation of a home, an upgrade.  Too many “hit-it-and-quit-it” encounters, according to the world view are shameful and therefore decreases her value.  (Fffffff… the world’s opinion.)  But let’s be honest when females want intimacy and sex and romance … and she’s been in the relationship dessert, tumbleweed town, cricketsville, whatever … for a while, anything is better than nothin’ (pretty much.) Yep she’s thirsty but does that make her a “hoe” or “COMMUNITY BOOTY?”

Except for the minimal conflict one may face while pondering the religious and moral implications of allowing the flickering flame to burn unconfined momentarily, sex outside of marriage (which isn’t what it used to be) has become a satisfaction-driven instantaneous act. Hookin’up, Just chillin’ are acceptable social activities.   

But and I dare ask, what does sex (every once in a while or even frequently) do for and to a woman’s spirit, her mind, and emotions?  We all know what the bible says about “fornication,” adultery and sex outside of marriage… puts you on the path to HELL, true… but honestly how much weight does “someday in the sweet by and by” (or not) have on the pains of here and now?  Here’s a churchy question: Would you trade sweet eternity for temporary physical bliss? Don’t answer that… instead let’s get real…

What does the woman giving up the booty want? I would venture to say, she wants to be loved. That’s an oversimplified answer but the real question is - to what level is she willing to go in order to FEEL loved? The giving-of-sex-hoping-for-love thing will always be present, where there is BROKENNESS (and there are plenty of sharks following that blood trail.) Fix the brokenness and transform your prospective. Love is so much more than a hump and a pump.   

So, what about the No Strings, No Drama kind of girl making the booty call? She’s just like the rest of us, but in denial. She has a wall that says if I don’t connect, I won’t get hurt.  But it takes effort to have and maintain something that is real in order to make it last.  See that white picket fence, enclosing a beautifully manicured yard? How do you think it got that way, osmosis? Uh no… sweat, pulling, digging, planting, watering… connection and care.  You want sex but not love… something is broken, missing or both.  Fix that and you will transform who you are, how you approach love and also live life.  Don’t be fooled, love isn’t love until you give, for real.  Every time you give of yourself with a BOOTY CALL, you have to do damage control. You must readjust your heart, your prospective and your expectations. You must learn to NOT WANT, what you really do and what you NEED. The Booty Call is a game - a game that shreds the SELF piece by piece. Aren’t you tired of playing yet? When I said “Fffff” the world’s opinion, I meant that! It’s not what the world thinks about who you are & what you do… Its about how you see and treat yourSELF. What’s your worth, “$5.99 or something like that”? (Nod to Jill Scott). Next time you’re feeling a little spark and at midnight the phone goes RING-RING… RING-RING… RING-RING

What you gonna do? For more info on re-building the SELF click here.