Have you ever liked someone and thought it was all going good until things started tapering off? I hate that, especially when you’re being consistent and giving it all you’ve got. Honestly, it can do a real number on your self-esteem if you are not as strong in your inner-being (SELF) as you thought. Even when you’re strong in your IDENTITY there are times… times when you may feel the universe is depriving you of the things you desire most. Seems like the more basic those things are, the worse you feel… “well what’s wrong with me?”
Let’s be real, sometimes relationships suck! And they suck most when you’ve committed your whole heart, soul, and time, and have invested your hopes and dreams and then… the other person starts trippin.’ I realize every 20 (30+) year marriage has fought through and survived this type of challenge. What is a “Covenant Commitment” anymore, I think they are fading. Now I’m an “always got one bag packed” kinda gal. And yep it’s a defense mechanism that I’ve formed from connecting with far too many emotionally unavailable people (thanx Dad.) This thing has fostered an “If anyone is gonna be shivering and cold (physically and emotionally stripped) due to the dying out of a once blazing fire…” It ain’t gonna be me. In fact, people are amazed at how quickly I move on. Lol, and I have to say this is a dysfunction that seems to serve me well. But, wisdom has taught me to use a method when I meet someone that has potential, called EQUAL ENERGY. It’s another way of saying, match your energy to someone else’s. After all, actions do speak louder than words. Being incredibly careful and reserved, helps you spot predators on the prowl, panty-robbers, guys looking to augment their harem, and those who love the IDEA of relationships but really aren’t able/ ready for one. And when you have boundaries… some people reallllly go to lengths to coax you off of them. This is why you HAVE TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE (and if you’re a believer, Whose you are) AND where you’re going. This queen right here has chosen not to “go that extra mile” until our “ENERGY LEVEL” is balanced (100 to 100). You pull back, so will I. But if you push to go too fast, faster than what’s natural for the zone we’re in… you gonna get slowed down. And if that’s a problem… next.
Face it, some things we want don’t really fit. And not everyone who shows attention to you is dating material. You’ve got to be especially careful when you’re lonely and feeling thirsty. Sometimes a compliment is just that and should be left with ONLY a smile and a thank you. Most times it's the universe’s way of saying “I see you, and you’re looking good.”
At the end of the day, can you look in the mirror and say, God has my best in mind, and He is not withholding it from me? Remembering that when I wasn’t even on His trip, He sent His Son to take lashes and die in my place. THAT’S what gives me VALUE… The King of Kings traded His own life for mine?!!! Mmmmm SMH. So now faith and trust are mine through which I can sober-mindedly determine who is worthy to receive my gifts. For me, it’s God (in all His Glory) that is MOST worthy to receive my unconditional, brakes off, reckless ever-burning love because He has never left or forsaken me. He answers EVERY TIME I called (even at midnight or 3:00 am) He always SHOWS UP for me. He wipes every tear, straightens my spine when I’m bent over, and heals my all wounds (emotional, physical, spiritual). You might say… well he’s perfect, after all… He is God. Yes, it’s supernatural and we can never expect man to be perfect. But men, showing up and being honest (from the beginning) is a great start, the best! Don’t get me wrong, delaying PHYSICAL gratification, is sooo hard, but lowing your standards just to have someone will create more issues than it will solve (#SELF-Esteem) issues.
Esteem yourself as being worthy of the best, know it, repeat it and pamper yourself - that’s SELF-care.
The hardest thing I have ever said aloud is (and I’m not entirely sure that I’ve reached the pinnacle that makes the following statement 100% true, but…) If I never have another whirl-wind long-term romance, I can be satisfied knowing that I am loved right now at the highest level. Cherish and live for the love of people you know love and cherish you. And if that love doesn’t SATISFY you, you’ve gotta ask yourself why. And that place is a good place to fix any cracks. In the meantime Never let anyone else determine your value or worth. … Step up your SELF-care (SELF-Love) thing until you know within yourSELF that you’re better than gold. So, the next time someone says, “It’s not you it’s me” you can say under your breath… “Damn right!” After all that… Never lose hope: Good honest people do still exist, just stay open and be ready to receive those gifts as they come.
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