Lookin' Like a Snack

Ever been night driving headed towards some train tracks when the lights begin flashing signaling an approach train?  What’s the first thing you do… consider how much time and space you’ve got before the arms come down?  Its like, if you don’t floor it now you could get stuck (for God knows how long)… Seems like trains come at the most inopportune times, don’t they?

Don’t you wish there was such a thing, flashing lights and protective arms, to signal and protect you from the train wrecks of life?! I do, seems like life would be so much easier… come to think of it there is something! It’s called the “still quiet voice” (check out blog entry “He speaks”t.) but we often miss it because the world is sooooo loud with all it’s distractions. For real, its so much easier to just grab your cell phone and scroll through Social Media rather than take the time and energy to get still and meditate (or pray.)  Its just what we do, over 3.196 BILLION people worldwide hit up Facebook, What’s App, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, and TikTok each day for inspiration, motivation, or entertainment (Deyan G, techjury.net, 3/19/2021).

And what’s on social media? All kinds of people doing all kinds of things… make-up artists, fitness vlogs, singers, dancers, artists, etc. all in their “flawless glory.”  Pschhh, get on social media lookin’ crazy… most people won’t do it. Flawlessness is constant and is in full effect 24/7… even if it’s mainly filters, lighting and angles. Aaaand then, its back to reality,. We look at ourselves and see less than perfect bodies…we’re either too skinny or too fat, almost perfect except for the belly or jiggly thighs, we’re apple/pear/hourglass shaped, too dark, (or too white, haaaa), hair too straight, too course, too thin, too curly, boobs too big or not big enough, butt too big or too flat and the list of what we dislike about ourselves just goes on and on. With all this stuff constantly before our eyes, you just can’t help but compare yourself to what is seen. Most of the time we come up short, not ENOUGH.

HOW TO STOP THE MADNESS (COMPARING)

First of all how do you compare apples to oranges? Tho they are both fruit, it’s obvious they are basically different from one another in looks, taste, and smell. As humans it’s the same thing… we just must know is diversity is beautiful. Why not celebrate differences rather than look down on them. Decide to come away from auto-pilot thinking. Try this…

Step One: KNOW YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, and realize there will never be another you.  You are uniquely you and you were  awesomely and wonderfully made. You are the result of a DIVINE DESIGN and you have a purpose in life that only you can fulfill. So slow down and take some time to rediscover your SELF.  Start by finding 2 things in yourSELF that you like (if you get stuck ask someone that knows you well.) Try to improve your weak points and play up and appreciate your strengths. Step two: Decide not to compare yourSELF to anyone again! STOP it! And stop it now, because it’s SELF abuse! Catch the negative SELF-talk that happens when you compare and STOP IT IMMEDIATELY! Leave the site, shut it down… and redirect your focus! Step Three: Look in the mirror and compliment yourSELF, don’t wait for others to do it. But if you notice words in your head that are screaming louder than your positive affirmations- you may need to wipe clean and reprogram your mental hard drive. Repeated verbally abusive, careless hurtful words and bullying acts create grooves in the fabric of our minds (like a worn carpet) and they don’t just go away with time. Particularly damaging are things like: “You’re fat like your Momma,” “You’re no good just like your dad” “you’re a pudgy little thing,” “you’re stupid,” “you’re ugly”  “you’re too skinny” “you’re shaped funny” “nobody likes you” or “you were a mistake”… Listen! You WERE NOT A MISTAKE! You were chosen. Remember the swimming sperm video in sex education? Thousands looking for an egg… No body knows how the selection is made or how many eggs there were… but somehow you were chosen. And the fertlization and development frenzy began for you. Did you know that you’ve been given a unique purpose & destiny and specific gifts to accomplish them? It’s true. 3) Find out what your Purpose is, discover what your gifts are and get to work on a plan to change the world in your own way. Self-Development and pursuing your purpose are LIFETIME endeavors. If you STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE and focus on those 2 things when you’re bored you shouldn’t have time to worry about all the junk flying in your face on social media.  If you find yourSELF stuck, get some help (click here.)

Next week:  Enough! Part II: Body, Body, Body

ENOUGH!!

Have you ever seen that movie with J Lo called ENOUGH!!! The character she played was a victim of Domestic Abuse, fearing for her life with no one to rescue her, she basically defended herself in a way that… uh ended badly for him.

There’s a sober part of me (the size of a chihuahua) that says… “Awww he died” but the larger part of me says “That joker had to go!” And it reminds me of the demonic inner voice screaming “on loop” (continuous repeat) “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH.” I guess the movie’s message is more of a Self-Development metaphor… What grand delusion gives you the right to tear me down and create a prison that forces me to remain there? As if you get to define me and determine my worth. And if I don’t comply, I should expect to get beat back into submission or ignored? Oh, no… The Devil is a Lie! I’m sure at her lowest point… through tears she wondered how she got confined to this space. Even though this is only a movie, the sad thing is it’s happening for real somewhere… probably right now. Also happening more than I would like, is how we INTERNALIZE harsh treatment and words (that we can’t get free of) which produces low SELF esteem and SELF-worth.

So I’m starting a series to exorcize those demons of low SELF-worth. There is no way to have a happy life if you are not starting with a well-put together SELF. A healthy SELF is the foundation of everything you want to happen in your life. Soooooo… Lets jump into STINKIN’ THINKIN’ aka your thought life. Nothing makes me grit my teeth like hearing someone say “YOU MAKE ME… ______” whatever, fill in the blank. Let me tell you why…. We give people too much power over who we are. How many times have we approached the “seeking a relationship” place and we show up like we’re the one interviewing for a job? Starting off with a list of things we want, and then we spot an option and then go after it doing whatever is needed to seal this deal? Wait… how did the tables turn? No no, we need to go in strong knowing … not knowing but “BEING me” (who you really are.) But you have to be alright with who you are, first.

If I’m not presenting the best me I can be, doesn’t it make sense to close it down (whatever it is) and pull it all together before exposing myself to the elements? Demons, negativity… bad energy is attracted by BROKENNESS. If you are thirsty and your glass is broken, you set yourSELF up for failure (and all the pain that goes with it.) Fix your glass first… no even better, get rid of the broken glass and get yourSELF a shatterproof pitcher so that you can get what you need and share the rest.

But the problem we face is working with what we’ve got. And what you’ve got IS ENOUGH, for now – until you can do better. Never let anyone “make you feel” less than. I like to say, “I Am who iam” (by the grace of God) take it or leave it, I DON’T CARE. Why don’t I care, because I need to be the best I can be for me first, so what I’m giving to the world is excellent … and anything good that comes out of that is just gravy. Feel free to adopt it, if you want. But it all starts in your mind. What are you thinking? Are you comparing yourSELF to others, what the world says is beautiful? Thin, blond and blue used to be all the rage… but now the world is saying something different. You can’t be moved by the world or what people say, because people are fickle. You have to know, that your physical make up is mostly genetic even though it’s up to you to exercise and eat right. If you come from sturdy, thick people… GET OVER IT, YOU’LL NEVER BE BARBIE. But you can fix up and work what you got! Address the basics: 1) Keep your body clean and smelling good, 2) Fix your hair in funky fresh ways (or simple, and neat is good), 3) Design your own style of dressing… create a SELF-image that you like and 4) Compliment yourSELF (don’t wait on others to do it.)

How do you overcome a negative SELF-image and comparing yourself to others? Come back next week, that’s where we will start.

For more on The SELF and SELF-concept grab your copy of 4SELF 101 here (its not just for Teens.)