Body, Body, Body

I almost started this blog with a Weight Watchers quote, something about being your own best friend or not being your own worst enemy, but instead I settled on this,

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own POWERS, you cannot be successful or happy.” Norman Vincent Peale

And though it may be easier to get disgusted at my fat ankles, I realize that I am much more than my physical flaws. This week we’re talking about the body in all it’s glory.  But I feel like people need to be EMPOWERED, almost given permission to FOCUS less on their bodies and to put more enthusiasm and energy into building who they as a whole. And it starts by VALUING yourSELF. Because what you value, you take extra care of.  You protect, keep safe and place where it can be most appreciated. However, when it comes to SELF we tend to “body shame” and as a result low self-esteem flowers. Health is soooo very important to “HappyLife” but striving to be like Adonis or Barbie is a losing battle, especially if you don’t have the skinny gene, or money to fix it. The world is pushing this workout obsession (especially in January after the holidays ) thanx Peloton, and now the new Workout Mirror…smh. A flawless outward appearance screaming “ALL IS GOOD” means nothing if you’re the walking dead on the inside! I have this friend who works out religiously, he keeps his body looking good, but he’s afraid of the dark and is Identity-challenged, aaaand he wouldn’t know how to keep a good relationship if it fell on him (wink wink.) … i mean full of fear and just stuck emotionally. And then he looks at others like… what’s wrong with you? I be like… dude for real?

There are tons of people out there that put more value on outwardness (appearances and material stuff.) How many people do you know that pride themselves on eating right and looking good but are emotionally jacked and don’t know how to deal with people? You know folks that won’t eat any animal products but sees nothing wrong with using and discarding others? I mean wasn’t it Jesus who said, “Its not what you put into your body that defiles or ruins you, it’s what comes out.” Clearly that means health, being right, is more than what you put in your body because whatever you put in always has a way of coming out (unless you’re stopped up somewhere and that’s a whole nuther blog post, CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK, lol.)

You got to feed your body, yes and good food, pure food is optimum. But equally as important, even more so, is what you’re feeding your mind and your spirit? Are you surfing the net and gorging yourSELF on explicit content, or other people’s nonsense and drama? Are you gaming more than creating? Are you swiping left more than you are connecting to people in real time? Does what you listen to and watch on t.v. numb or inspire your mind? If you feed yourself with junk, guess what will pour out into your world?

We talked about diamonds a couple of weeks ago,,, from coal under pressure to being cut and showing brilliance. And then there’s gold, which has been a commodity and source of value forever. Everyone knows the purer it is the more valuable it is. Think of yourSELF as Gold. Have you notice people that surround themselves with drama and negativity have a lot more issues and stress? Did you know stress and unforgiveness brings on dis-ease and can shorten your life? Rid yourSELF of impurities of these impurities and see how the quality of your life rises.

So, my bottom line is if you’re truly striving for a healthy and happy life, don’t just feed your body well (and exercise) you also must do the same for your mind and spirit. Love, value and honor yourSELF by choosing the right friends, and activities. Guard your heart, guard your ears and your eyes, for what goes in will definitely come out and affect your world. And lastly remember to grow, grow your gifts, use your talents, expand your mind, love more, laugh louder, sing and dance like no one is looking. And never, never dumb yourself down for temporary gratification. Let your beauty shine! You’re more brilliant than diamonds and precious than gold. And you’re more powerful than you know. It’s your POWER to be the best you can be, don’t let anyone take that away from you.  YOU ARE ENOUGH!

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ENOUGH!!

Have you ever seen that movie with J Lo called ENOUGH!!! The character she played was a victim of Domestic Abuse, fearing for her life with no one to rescue her, she basically defended herself in a way that… uh ended badly for him.

There’s a sober part of me (the size of a chihuahua) that says… “Awww he died” but the larger part of me says “That joker had to go!” And it reminds me of the demonic inner voice screaming “on loop” (continuous repeat) “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH.” I guess the movie’s message is more of a Self-Development metaphor… What grand delusion gives you the right to tear me down and create a prison that forces me to remain there? As if you get to define me and determine my worth. And if I don’t comply, I should expect to get beat back into submission or ignored? Oh, no… The Devil is a Lie! I’m sure at her lowest point… through tears she wondered how she got confined to this space. Even though this is only a movie, the sad thing is it’s happening for real somewhere… probably right now. Also happening more than I would like, is how we INTERNALIZE harsh treatment and words (that we can’t get free of) which produces low SELF esteem and SELF-worth.

So I’m starting a series to exorcize those demons of low SELF-worth. There is no way to have a happy life if you are not starting with a well-put together SELF. A healthy SELF is the foundation of everything you want to happen in your life. Soooooo… Lets jump into STINKIN’ THINKIN’ aka your thought life. Nothing makes me grit my teeth like hearing someone say “YOU MAKE ME… ______” whatever, fill in the blank. Let me tell you why…. We give people too much power over who we are. How many times have we approached the “seeking a relationship” place and we show up like we’re the one interviewing for a job? Starting off with a list of things we want, and then we spot an option and then go after it doing whatever is needed to seal this deal? Wait… how did the tables turn? No no, we need to go in strong knowing … not knowing but “BEING me” (who you really are.) But you have to be alright with who you are, first.

If I’m not presenting the best me I can be, doesn’t it make sense to close it down (whatever it is) and pull it all together before exposing myself to the elements? Demons, negativity… bad energy is attracted by BROKENNESS. If you are thirsty and your glass is broken, you set yourSELF up for failure (and all the pain that goes with it.) Fix your glass first… no even better, get rid of the broken glass and get yourSELF a shatterproof pitcher so that you can get what you need and share the rest.

But the problem we face is working with what we’ve got. And what you’ve got IS ENOUGH, for now – until you can do better. Never let anyone “make you feel” less than. I like to say, “I Am who iam” (by the grace of God) take it or leave it, I DON’T CARE. Why don’t I care, because I need to be the best I can be for me first, so what I’m giving to the world is excellent … and anything good that comes out of that is just gravy. Feel free to adopt it, if you want. But it all starts in your mind. What are you thinking? Are you comparing yourSELF to others, what the world says is beautiful? Thin, blond and blue used to be all the rage… but now the world is saying something different. You can’t be moved by the world or what people say, because people are fickle. You have to know, that your physical make up is mostly genetic even though it’s up to you to exercise and eat right. If you come from sturdy, thick people… GET OVER IT, YOU’LL NEVER BE BARBIE. But you can fix up and work what you got! Address the basics: 1) Keep your body clean and smelling good, 2) Fix your hair in funky fresh ways (or simple, and neat is good), 3) Design your own style of dressing… create a SELF-image that you like and 4) Compliment yourSELF (don’t wait on others to do it.)

How do you overcome a negative SELF-image and comparing yourself to others? Come back next week, that’s where we will start.

For more on The SELF and SELF-concept grab your copy of 4SELF 101 here (its not just for Teens.)