New Season

I can’t believe February is almost over! Next week I’ll be paying rent again. Its funny how arrival of the first is tied to “bills due.” I have a life-long friend who struggled for years with finances. I mean it was baaaaad. I hurt with her through the struggles of not being able to pay rent, having to move several times and hiding the car so it wouldn’t be repossessed. It’s not so much that they (her and her husband) didn’t have the finances to pay rent, and their car note… sometimes they didn’t (#robbing Peter to pay Paul.) And let me say, this is remarkably familiar to my own experience. In fact, almost everyone I know, certainly my siblings and children, have all had at least one car repossessed (well except Bri.)

But my point is, and I told my Naddie, (#bestfriend) you give money too much power. Now we both know that she is capable of managing her budget… but her husband, who I love dearly, had a “Smeagol” (Lord of the Ring) type control over their money…. “My preccccccious.” I mean it was (and still may be) horrifying. But I think he’s gotten better as his faith in God and in his wife has increased. Not that the money was mismanaged… but he had a fetish for DVDs and not sharing the financial information. Oh, and she tried and tried to get him to unclamp but always ended up frustrated and in tears. I get it, I want control of my own money and I don’t want anyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t do with it. BUT,  I am single. Becoming one, is the point of marriage. So, what’s yours and what’s mine should be ONE or at least transparency and cooperation should guide negotiations. Did you know FINANCES is one of the top three reasons marriages fail.

I believe the spirit of SMEAGAL is present when you’ve been traumatized by lack and have the fear of being without. It causes a sort of compulsion to control and do whatever “you gotta do” to hang onto what you have. It makes you feel like if you’re too loosey goosey with your money, or if you don’t maintain control all will be lost, and you’ll end up in that world of hurt again. (That’s called an inner vow.)  You promise yourself not to repeat the sins of the father.

Scooch up close and listen to me, EVEN IF YOU’VE LIVED IN GENERATIONAL POVERTY, money is not the end all, be all solution for happiness! I know, I know… been there done that, but like anything else the power is yours to change your circumstances. If you’re sick and tired of “being broke,” stop doing what you’ve always done… change it up. Learn about money and fix your attitude about it. And for goodness sakes (!) stop spending your income tax check on STUFF and learn to save your money. Start small. First learn to TELL YOURSELF NO and make a budget. Set reachable (S.M.A.R.T.) goals and stick to ‘em. Once you accomplish money goals, it will get easier AND you will feel good about self. If money “burns a hole in your pocket” don’t carry cash (and leave the debit card at home.)  Money is a unit of exchange, it comes, and money goes. Think of it as an energy. If all you do is WORRY about “being broke,” that is what you attract to yourself… brokenness. But if you are thankful for what you have, which is a gift from above, and realize the ability to meet your budget (and pay what you can) is blessing… it will come more readily. Why… shifting your praise to The Source, and off the OLE MIGHTY DOLLAR opens doors for more... more provision, more gifts, more opportunities. Its ok to love money, just don’t serve it (like a god)… it should serve you. And if you don’t know how that could work… read a book, access YouTube, a blog or Podcast.

So, what does a new season have to do with money. The Christmas/New Years season is just over… winter is on its way out. In fact, it’s raining now, even as we connect. You know what rain does, it washes away the muck and dross. It satisfies the thirsty ground and waters planted seeds. It brings new life. And do I need to say, it’s a gift from above, especially where there’s been famine and drought. The season is changing… be ready for it. Leave the past and be ready to move forward. Remember doing the same old things and expecting something new to happen is the definition of insanity. You want things to change… you change.

Suggested financial literacy resources:

Websites

MoneyMavericks.com, MyMoney.gov, khanacademy.org, www.daveramsey.com

Podcasts

Stacking Benjamins, The Dave Ramsey Show, His and Her Money, The Fairer Cents, The Truth About Money with Ric Edelman

Favorite Books: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Pounder, and Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kyosaki

Also see my book 4SELF 101  (Chapter 9: Money, Money, Money)

FML 5: I'm Just Broke

Raise your hand if you’ve resolved to save money or fix your credit this year. I don’t know your experience, but most of the people I know are on one end of the spectrum or the other when it comes to saving money. Either they easily save, or money burns their pockets. I myself struggle to save money and I will tell you why… My entire childhood I watched my mother “struggle” financially.  We grew up “house poor” and it seems like my siblings and I never got anything we wanted… Mom was always “broke.” How ironic it was for me to follow in my mother’s footsteps, but for a long time I did... until I woke up.   

Don’t get me wrong… Momma (and everyone like her) just made it work, “Robbing Peter to pay Paul”!  Now I realize this may be a foreign concept for “summa” you so let me explain…  “Robbing Peter to pay Paul” is a “ghetto-ism” (I just made that up); an “urban phrase” referring to a particular type of money management.  It’s where one shifts money from one bill to pay a more vital one.  In our case vital meant… or else it’s getting shut off. As sad as it was, the only money management training we received was watching my Mother “stretch a dollar,” overspending or taking items out of the cart at the cashier station OR most often hearing “no” and getting hands slapped for touching things?  I can hear her words echoing in my past memories… “touch another thing, hear?” smh

Let me be clear poor money management comes from (#1) not understanding money, the lack of Literacy Education/Training,  NO Budgeting, Poor spending habits, and lack of discipline. LACK, LACK, LACK, the  perception of LACK or the FEAR of Lack are powerful barriers to the proper handling of money.

People often, just like I did, refer to their meager upbringing to excuse their financial irresponsibility because they don’t want to reign in their out-of-control spending habits. I mean who doesn’t love to shop and get the things they want, when they were deprived as children. But at the end of the year, after pouring Trillions of dollars into the market, have precious little to show for it and can still have the feeling of “struggling” to make it.   Let me tell you why that is… It’s called “The Poverty Mindset,” which is a GENERATIONAL CYCLE.  Not a lot of us received Money Management strategies from our parents, uh because they weren’t taught by their parents, whose parent didn’t have the knowledge to give them, nor did their parents or their parents before them. Hello, that’s GENERATIONAL.  This knowledge was withheld (or not shared) with many of our ancestors by those who believe money is POWER. I’ve heard it said “The Poor” could pull themselves up by their own bootstraps if they went to college or worked harder - but this is not always the case, especially when those people are constrained by The Poverty Mindset.   

Most poor people think winning the lottery will solve all their problems. According to an article called  Five myths about the Lottery written by Economics Professor George Loewenstein (Washington Post, 2019/12/27),  “70% of lottery winners go bankrupt within a couple of years.” I’ll give you two guesses as to why that is (Poor Money Management and/or the Poverty Mindset). Getting a better job will give you more money but how far do you think you can get with the The Poverty Mindset constantly screaming at you “OOOOO MORE MONEY!!! Yayyy! Now you can finally buy that thing (or things) you’ve been fiending for!” It’s another gerbil wheel, that must be destroyed in order to move forward. The Poverty Mindset must be replaced with sound financial knowledge, motivation to change, combined with energy, strategy, and positive producing action. Yes, it’s gonna be tough! But my question to you is…. HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT. No more struggling and no more excuses… WANT TO FIX YOUR LIFE? First things first… make up your mind that you need a change! Then do it! Create some goals and a budget, and start with tiny steps.  

THESE FINANCIAL LITERACY RESOURCES WILL HELP

Websites

MoneyMavericks.com, MyMoney.gov, khanacademy.org, www.daveramsey.com

Podcasts

Stacking Benjamins, The Dave Ramsey Show, His and Her Money, The Fairer Cents, The Truth About Money with Ric Edelman

Also see my book 4SELF 101  (Chapter 9: Money, Money, Money).