There is too much controversy over whether we should wear masks or not during “this Pandemic.” You hear arguments that are in favor of wearing a mask in confined indoor spaces to protect from “airborne pathogens” and then there are several others that say the masks either don’t work or that they negatively impact respiratory systems.
To be quite honest, the invent of COVID isn’t the first occurrence where people depend on wearing masks. Folks have been doing that for years. Yeah, you know where I’m going. SELF-development, SELF-esteem, SELF-Confidence… do you know the difference between character and personality? Character is the morality, traits, convictions of the inner-person and personality is what the individual wants the world to see (outward-ness) aka- The Mask.
I recently finished “Will” (Penguin Press, 2021) by Will Smith. And I realize sometimes you don’t really know if someone is presenting their genuine self or whether they are serving up “a representative,” what they think you need to accept them. The crazy thing is they don’t always KNOW that’s what they’re doing until you challenge them. The persona is usually a carefully crafted suit one puts together piece by piece until they are covered right. Who would think, Will Smith’s comedic flow/timing/genius were crafted for his protection? He said, and I paraphrase, “If people were laughing someone is not getting hurt.”
When I think of actors who live for applause, I realize that they aren’t much different from “PEOPLE PLEASERS” except they get paid … well the truth of the matter is, they both get paid. Actors get paid with a check and people pleasers get an intellectual/emotional pay-off. People often “dress it up” “be on their best behavior” serve up the “Representative” in order to “seal the deal” and then when everybody is comfortable, out comes the genuine article. Scooch up close and let me whisper to that person a little sum-sum…THAT’S LYING!!!
And the reason it’s usually NOT OK, when the truth comes out is because nobody likes being deceived. People who fall in love with the mask, are like “he/she changed!.” No, uh no they didn’t. This is just the REAL PERSON, who finally felt secure enough to take off their covering. If you’ve ever fallen sucker to the “bait and switch” just know, EVERYBODY is broken in one way or another. They’re stuff is no worse than your stuff… unless they’re just out there slaying folks on purpose.
I used to be a people pleaser. I needed people that I liked to like me back, and I absolutely needed people to understand where I was coming from… I was overly “nice” and super sensitive, always trying to dodge “fussing and fighting” and the pain of rejection. But once I undertook counseling and self-development I came to understand, value and trust mySELF. And that gave me the confidence to tell people: I am who I am (by the grace of God) and I don’t NEED you (or anyone) to like me because I like me. And if they have an issue with me … (#pinky finger). In all honesty, if they don’t support you, pay your bills, pr powder your bum… you could probably live without them, though you may not want to… you could make it.
There is a benefit of wearing this type of mask, though. It allows you to hide the REAL you and also delay the inevitable. In other words, the benefits are temporary and fleeting, because once the person that was deceived finds out the truth, the door opens to the very thing you tried to avoid in the beginning. And who’s to say it won’t devastate you more than the original pain. Nine times out of ten you will find yourself starting all over again. Why even go there? It’s a waste of time and energy for what a TEMPORARY FIX? Cut it out! You knowwww you’ve got issues, admit it and get some help! Did you like being hurt? Wearing a mask does a disservice to yourself and to others. Nobody likes a fake, disingenuous, deceitful person. You can start today, fix whatever is broken, take one step at a time, and I promise you, things will be aaaaa-ight (#alright) Besides there is no “Ahhhhh” like the one you get while living FULLY ALIVE in all your glory! We need to experience REAL you, as unique, quirky, odd, quiet, nerdy, corny, slow, fast as you are!
For more information on People Please get your copy of 4SELF 101 HERE, it’s not just for teens.