Okay, soooo… we’re all grown folks here, right? Right out the gate let me say this, we are just too old to be “actin’ a fool” when we don’t get our way. I say this tenderly and with love because I might be pointing a finger at you, and you and you but the truth is… I have 3 pointing back at myself. Can I tell you about the last tantrum I had?
While transitioning out of being married to “Rico” (once Rico suave’ – not so much anymore…) That was bad, you know I’m just kidding old man, if you’re reading this. While staying at a dear sister’s apartment everyone was gone and I was home alone… just me and my disappointment which was the size and strength of a “black hole.” And the “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God” thing was welling up inside of me. I was really really frustrated and disgusted with everything in my life (coming from the woe-is-me prospective.) And a wale that wracked the depths of my soul came bounding out and onto the floor I went. Face down on the carpet, I kicked my feet and pounded my fists on the floor and just screamed and cried. I’m not sure how long I was down there, I bet not very long … when I heard a still quiet voice in my spirit say… “Really… I thought we were past this.” I instantly came to myself and said… “What am I, TWO?” And I laughed. Here’s the thing… I wanted to know why, for real, for real. And this started a very enlightening conversation.
Honestly when I think about it, this might be the first time I did a full-out, body-breakdown, kicking and screaming tantrum… but emotionally I’ve been throwing tantrums and getting depressed for years when things I REALLY wanted didn’t work out the way I planned. And I have had a lot of disappointments in my life. Even at 50 (ish) I still find it necessary to sit on my Daddy’s lap and have a “heart to heart.” You see, this is how you break out of cycles, shed old clothes that don’t fit anymore and transform. That coat of bitterness, we put on to protect ourselves from “knuckleheads.” The boots for walking out of intolerable situations, that anti-loneliness seductive lingerie, the mask of manipulation, that or the long-handled spoon we carry for social and relational distancing…
It’s a trip tho, that we sometimes must be immobilized, stranded, or down and out before we will have a conversation with the One Who knows us better than we know ourselves. Just get someplace and be still… be quiet and then LET Him heal you. Transformation, however, is a CO-CREATIVE process. I bet you want to know what was said and how it changed my life. Ok… NEXT WEEK!
“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.”