How old were you when you first did the do? By “the do” I mean had sex? Oh yeah, I’m getting right to the point this week. At first, I was going to make this blog post about money and being broke. The word “broke” as you may or may not know is slang that means “having no money.” It refers to a smashed piggy bank with its contents poured out. Not to be compared to with BROKENNESS. I do have lots to say about money, the poverty mindset, and the ridiculous amount of power we give money over our lives, that’ll come next week. BUT… because I’m feeling a bit snarky at the moment, I’ve changed my mind. This little talk is going to be about SEXUALITY, abstinence, and virginity (or loss thereof.)

I’m not sure how transparent I want to be with you regarding my own cookie-breaking experience… although I do feel my story is an important one (and so is yours.) Let me suffice it to say I was very very very young when I first had sex. I can talk about it now because I’m too old to get in trouble, lol. Not unlike most peer pressure stories, I was trying to fit into a small group much older than myself. Most believers will quote the “Thou Shall Not’s” of fornication, but in PRACTICALITY the real reason for not having sex when you’re too young for a lasting committed relationship … IS THE BURN! And by the burn, I’m not talking about a social disease… I mean HORNY-ness. Breaking the cookie for the first time is like opening Pandora’s box, uh literally.  It starts a fire that must be quenched. Simply put, sex was originally intended to be a divine glue that through desire, passion of orgasmic expression to transform two people (that belong to each other) into one person (complete unity in spirit, emotionally, and in purpose). That is why breakups, when sex was the norm, are so difficult because is like an amputation. Sex taken in the right context is good! However, when SEX is USED, it can be very damaging. Think of a raging unconstrained fire…

Nowadays sex is just a social activity, it’s no big deal. Sex has become so common… seems like it is normal expectation in dating. In DATING! I literally hesitate to say “before marriage” or “outside of marriage” because in the “world view” marriage is less popular than COVID! (smh) The “test drive” has become a real and necessary thing a prerequisite for choice-making. And I get it, I do… good sex is important. It’s both binding and freeing; both a flame and an extinguisher, a thirst and a quencher simultaneously. But the fact that society places more value on orgasms and fun, than it does on real connection, fidelity, and community is evidence of a moral decay.  The sad thing is lonely people often put themselves out there and date EVEN IF still jacked up from a previous thing. Knowing that they are not in the position (mentally or emotionally) to hold down a real relationship.  Baby if you’re broken… get your ish straight before bringing other people into your mix! OR BE HONEST upfront! I’m sorry (not sorry) but if sex is your main motive and you have no intention of having a relationship, it is your responsibility to let the object of your attention know - anything else is just wrong, I don’t care how you justify it.  

Whole people (with nothing broken and nothing missing) should do better. Remember the golden rule, “Do unto others …” blah blah blah you know the rest.  Let’s retool it to say:  Honor your SELF by valuing other people (everybody) as if they were an extension of your own person.  If you aren’t ready to deal with other people… don’t. If your flame is burning like that, don’t be shady find a SUBSTITUTION (side-eye) … I’m sure you know what I mean. Happy endings are best when you’re in a focused, committed, joyous relationship that has purpose. (Notice I said joyous and not happy) see previous blog post: FML 2: Unhappy

Decide today, I have, not to accept any more broken cookies. Either come whole or stay at home. That’s all I got to say. OH, I ALMOST FORGOT!!! The most important part! How to FML (FIX My Life)… You’ve given a piece of your SELF to every person you’ve had sex with and they’ve with you. So imagine giving&receiving with 10, 20…. 100 sexual partners. Talk about BROKEN COOKIES (and crumbs) yikes! To be WHOLE (and happy) you must reclaim all those pieces, and break the SOUL-TIES, which is the reason you can't get over him/her - your souls are tied… the sex did that. If you need help click here, I got you!