Soulmate has a particular connotation. You think of one’s SOUL, the mind-space, the seat of the emotions and the place where your “will” originates from… and then literally coupled to it, is “mating. Naturally, the mind may veer off towards the “hook-up” thing, where lots of lonely people land “in the meantime” to quiet the inner scream, or dull the inertia behind the desire to find “The One”- The love of their life with whom they can experience something real and lasting and SATISFYING.  

I am, though, starting to believe the idea of “The One” is way too limiting! With this idea we are asked to believe that a single LOVE (the right ONE) is to be found and plucked like a needle in a haystack from over 6 billion people. Winning the lottery has better odds. Nahhhh, lets dig a little deeper. So… taking a quick right, I ran upon some stuff by writer Richard Bach.  He himself acknowledges the difficulty of putting in words what a SOULMATE is as he pinned:

“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are [and known]… Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”

But for me, Dr. Carmen Harra smashed the idea of “Soulmating” in her article The 10 Elements of a Soulmate (Huff Post, 2013) - she was spot on capturing it this way:

“Your soulmate makes you feel entirely whole, healed and intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.”

After reading the entire article, I’m now wondering if a SOULMATE is strictly reserved for a lover. Is it possible that your SOULMATE can be pletonic, like your bestie?  What I find curious, but altogether possible, is that a Significant Other can (and maybe should) be one’s best friend… yet I wonder where BEST FRIEND SOULMATES go when they have issues or challenges with one another or in their relationship. Certainly, they should discuss matters to resolve them… but most often people need to vent, and process and organize their thoughts before coming to a common ground for discussion. There are those who need to talk through their processes before sitting face to face with their mate. This is why even SOULMATES need outside friends/peers (a mentor or accountability partner) who objectively listens, offers wise counsel and who can walk with them if needed.  Though SOULMATES may spend all their time together, they should allow for this without judgement, fear or feeling rejected. Getting away even if only for a couple of hours is a natural SELF-care thing.

In all honesty I don’t think “SEARCHING HIGH AND LOW” for “The One” is a healthy thing to do.  First off, how many people praying to be “blessed” with a SOULMATE is actual ready to receive and hold onto one? People are flawed, for sure, and often carry unresolved issues, buried hurts, as well as hold unforgiveness, soul-ties, etc. We have some serious SELF-work to complete first. The scary thing is there are people on the search who are just in love with the idea of being in love. Being desperate to find or obsessed with the search for Mr/Ms Right puts you a negative mindspace that you must release yourSELF from in order to receive. Have you noticed nothing ever seems to happen until you’re done worrying about that thing? How many times have you heard people say, “I wasn’t even thinking about it and look what happened?”  Too many times to count… You literally have to release it and go on with your life. Just chill, don’t worry about it, FOCUS ON SOMETHING ELSE and when its time, the manifestation of your prayer will happen.  

It is so easy to become jaded in your disappointment and shut down. But don’t shut down, and don’t close your heart. The minute you do that, doors to the opportunities you’ve been waiting for also close. And if you notice, that’s when negative thoughts and words begin to shape your reality.  My Momma used to say “A closed mouth can’t be fed.” Imagine the result of a closed mind and heart?  I’mma leave that right there…

For the next couple of weeks we will explore SOUL-care so that when your SOULMATE does arrive they will find in you a lavished playground to explore! In the mean-time if you find yourSELF “boiling dry,” super depressed and lonely, feeling closed off, cannot re-focuss or release… Click Here, I got you.