I didn’t plan to be “a hoe” or “addicted to drugs” or still living with Mom & Dad at 30. Well… most people who didn’t know, at age 5 years what they planned to be when they grew up, never planned to live a life that they don’t like (or ever worse… hate.)

If you were like me growing up part of a dysfunctional household… that I couldn’t wait to grow up and leave, there was no planning involved.  I just wanted to be of age so that I could have my own life. Dysfunctional can mean so many things.  And I hope you come back more and more so that we can have more dialog about what yours looked like.  But for me, Daddy left when I was 3 and so did my sisters shortly after. When Momma did remarry there was domestic violence, corporal punishment, alcoholism, a sort of mild neglect and often not enough food in the cupboards. My brother used to eat sugar sandwiches… but I digress.

Getting grown was just the stepping block I needed to “freedom.”  But once grown I realized, man! I didn’t know anything about life. Well I knew what not to do, and how not to talk to people and I also knew how to live without a man. But as having the tools that I needed to a happy life… uh one I wanted…  My tool box was empty and I found myself ill-prepared to handle the regular day-to-day struggles that come with grown-up life. That is why I wrote 4 SELF 101, so that people would have somewhere to start.

One day, the sexiest man alive (well in my life anyway) was conversing with me face to face.  It felt like there was no one else in the room except he and I, but the world was all around and passively watching.  And then he asked… “But tell me, WHO ARE YOU, really?” I was about 28 years old and if I tell you I was stuck on stupid, feeling small and at a loss for words it still can’t capture what I felt at that moment… all I could do was cry. That conversation forced me to discover ME, who I really was. One might say “Rediscover who I am” but honestly, I didn’t know who I was.

Its been many years since then, and can I tell you – it took longer than I thought it would to discover ME. REAL self -development is a PROCESS. The first step is to get to know the SELF, and it’s not just the reflection in the mirror. He/She is much more complex. Walk with me… (click the button above to join the conversation.)